Ep. 42: Taking Action from a Place of Confidence (and How to Actually Do That)

If you're going after new goal or trying to achieve something you've never done before, you could do it from a place of anxiety, or a place of confidence. It might not seem like a choice - it might seem like you either have confidence or not. But the truth is, taking action from a place of confidence is how you actually build confidence - and how you get what you want. It's not complicated but most people won't do this - and their goals will always remain too scary and too far away to ever seen possible. This episode will walk you through how to actually create the confidence you need to take the actions you want, starting today. Enjoy!

Hey there, it's Stephanie Finigan. Welcome to another episode of the I'm the Problem Podcast. I'm doing this one on the fly. So here we go. I wanted to talk today about this idea of taking action from a place of certainty and a place of power and what that looks like versus taking action from a place of like panic. And what I mean by this is you're someone who has a goal or has goals or has ambitions or has something you want to change or something you're working on. You're likely not listening to a personal development or coaching podcast unless that's the case.

So whether or not you've got like one specific goal or you're just kind of like, I'm blah in my whole life and I want to make a change, there is always an opportunity to take action from a place of power and a place of confidence. And what that does is that it allows you to take much better action than from a place of panic or scarcity or lack. But most of us are taking action from a place of panic or scarcity or lack. That explains why a much smaller percentage of people actually hit their goals. Because here's what that looks like.

Let's say, let's use myself as an example, because I'm the problem, right? Let's say I desperately, really, truly want to grow my business and I want to attract more clients into my business. and I'm not sure how to do it. I've been doing everything. And for a while I had a lot of clients and then I hit a wall. And so I've got to figure out what to do.

If I'm coming at that from a place of, oh my God, I got to figure out what to do. If I don't do this, like my business is a failure or I'm not going to be able to pay the mortgage or, oh my God, like everyone hates me. Why did the clients all dry up? Maybe no one likes me. I don't know. Maybe people hate coaching. Like if I'm in that kind of desperate, graspy energy, No matter what actions I take, if they're new actions or if I keep taking the same actions that have gotten me clients in the past, no matter what it's coming from the energy of desperate and graspy and needy and thirsty and oh please please coach with me because I'm in a panic and the actions I take you can imagine aren't going to be as solid or as good or as clean. They come from that energy. And you know that, right? Like when you're talking to somebody, if somebody's asking you for something or if somebody's talking to you about something or selling you something, if they're doing it from a place of like, oh my God, I'm so desperate. I don't even know what to do. If that's the energy that they're coming with, even if they're not saying those words to you, you know it, right?

You can pick up on the vibe when someone's panicky or desperate. And so in that case, you may do the favor for the person or you may buy the thing or whatever, but you're not going to do it from a place of you feeling good about it. You're doing it maybe out of obligation or because you feel bad for this person or whatever your reason is. So, the challenge there is that then how likely are you to do it again? How likely are you to do another favor for this person or to buy something else from this person? Like how likely are you to want to continue to engage with somebody who's got that energy? Probably not very likely. So if I'm coming at my business with like, Oh my God, I can't believe I need more people, then I'm very likely going to get either no results or limited results, or if I do get results, they probably won't be sustainable. I can't imagine anybody would buy coaching from a desperate, graspy coach. And again, people aren't necessarily coming to you with those overt words, right? But you can sense it. You can tell when someone's kind of panicky or desperate versus if someone's coming to you from a much more confident place.

So if I make the decision, you know what, I am going to grow my business. I'm going to get more clients. It's happening. It's as good as done. Like, it's definitely happening. And all I have to do is figure out the how.

Now, suddenly, I'm in a very different energy. Even my tone is different. different. So from that place like I know this is gonna happen. You can start to tap into a much more powerful side of yourself and you can start to take actions from that much more powerful place. I know this is gonna happen.

So now I set out to find clients and I say, hey, I've got spots open or I'm creating a new program or whatever it is that I might do, whatever actions I might take. Maybe I'll have a discount. Maybe I'll go give a talk somewhere. I will be taking action from a place of certainty, of a place of, I know this is gonna happen. I'm just figuring out the how. That's the only unknown here. From a much more powerful place, I'm taking much more powerful actions. And from there, I'm going to get much better results, you're much more likely to buy something, whether it's coaching or a product or some other service from someone who is confident that they know, hey, this shit's really good. And you want to get in here versus someone who's like, I don't know, Please, I'm gonna promise, it's gonna be so great, I swear, I swear, just give me a shot, right? So that's the energy I'm talking about.

Okay, I'll give you another example. So for me, my husband and I, we were at the end of 2024 trying to decide where we're gonna live and if we were gonna stay in the city or the state that we're in now versus move. And we had a lot of circumstances going on that were gonna really contribute to that decision. So we decided to not buy a house because we were like, we don't wanna be rooted somewhere, even for a couple of years, think we're gonna get up and move. Now we could debate that conversation all day long. Let's just go with it for now.

So that was what our thinking was and I woke up the morning of December 26th and I'm like, we're buying a house this year. I was like, I don't want to be held hostage by the circumstances in our lives. I know we don't really know what's going on with X, Y, and Z, but you know what? Let's buy a house this year. It's what we want to do. We're going to do it. Now at the time, we didn't necessarily have all the money that we needed to do it. And at the time, there was not a lot of thought and planning in terms of like how we're going to do this. And no stress. It was just I just woke up. I had a feeling in my gut this was the right call. It was something I really wanted to do. I told my husband how I was feeling. He was on board.

Boom.

Three months later, we purchased a house. That happened. Obviously lots of steps in between and lots of thought work and lots of action taken, but that's what happened. I committed on December 26th. I made that decision. We are buying a house this year. I don't care about the circumstances. I don't care about the why. I don't care about anything else. I've made this decision and it's happening. No one is going to be able to talk me out of it. Coming from that place, was much more powerful.

And I've made other decisions in my life like that. It's so much more powerful because then it's not a question of if this is going to happen and well, if we can figure this out or if these other circumstances fall into place or if no, it doesn't matter. You've burned the bridge. You've cut off any opportunity to not do this. And instead you're working from a place of this is happening. This is fact, this is happening.

And from there, now what am I going to do to make it happen? Now, how do I put it's That's great stuff, but if I don't believe that I actually can get new clients in my business, if I don't believe I actually can buy a house in three months, if I don't believe that I can lose the weight or get the promotion or meet the partner or leave the partner or do whatever it is that you want to do, if I don't believe that, what do I just say it? Is it just like an affirmation I just say? No, absolutely not. And for lots of reasons, I'm not even a big fan of affirmations. What happens if you don't believe it?

Here's the fact. A belief is nothing more than a thought that you think over and over. And a thought is always optional. A thought is always a choice. The way that I'm applying this to my life right now, I have some pretty aggressive goals right now in my business. And as I think about that, I'm not wondering, I don't know if I should do, I have made a decision about a very specific business goal and it's happening. You can't tell me it's not. I'm choosing to believe it is. Meaning, like, I say it. I feel it with certainty in my body. Not because there's any evidence. In fact, there's a lot of evidence to the contrary.

But I'm believing it because I want to. And because I get to, I get to choose to think whatever I want. I get to choose to believe whatever I want. So I'm choosing that thought and I can feel it in my gut and I can feel it in my bones and I'm choosing it over and over again. This goal will happen. I'm going to make this goal happen by this timeline.

It's happening. It's as good as done. Then whenever I notice my brain switch into like, yeah, but mode, which it does all the time. I'm thinking, yes, it is. It's happening. This is awesome. I'm so excited. I can't wait. And then, like, seconds later, my brain will be like, yeah, but look at the numbers. Look at the paper. It's not gonna happen. You can't get that.

Whenever that happens, I don't make that mean anything. I don't make it mean that I'm being ridiculous or that I'm shooting for something that isn't possible. I just make it mean that, oh, right, my brain forgot. We've already decided this is happening. That's all it is. And I just bring my thinking right back to this is happening.

So from a place of this is happening, what actions am I taking now? From a place of this is happening, what am I going to try now? And again, when you do this, your brain is going to continue to slide right back to, yeah, I don't know.

And it's going to sound whiny and annoying, just like that. Just like my voice just now. And instead of make that mean anything, you can just decide to make that mean, oh, my brain just forgot. We've already decided. Like this is already a done deal. So now what action am I taking? And you just very quickly and very gently, but firmly pull yourself back onto the track of belief. Okay. That's how it works. It sounds overly simple, but I'm going to tell you, do it. Choose one thing that you really want and that you want to make a change on or want to achieve or whatever it is. It can be small. It can be big. Make the decision. Just decide it's fucking happening. Burn the bridge. Don't let anything else be another option. Just decide it's happening.

And then from there, start taking action as if you are in that belief. Start taking action from that place. Even if 2 % of you believes it, take action from that 2%. Do that and moving forward. Remind yourself. Nope. My brain just, my brain just forgot. We've already made the decision. It's happening. Now I just take action from a place of knowing that I will be successful.

That's how it works. That's how you get what you want. That's how you make big leaps and big changes in short amount of time. All right. You got this. I'm sure you do.